There is no single line that divides “normal” drinking from “problem” drinking. Some people are aware of their problematic relationship with alcohol. Others are concerned about their drinking and uncertain whether they really have a problem, partly because alcohol is so woven into everyday life that it can be hard to see clearly.

Some of the signs people notice when their drinking has become difficult:

• You drink more than you intend to, or you cannot stop once you start
• You think about drinking, plan around it, or look forward to it
• You drink to manage stress, low mood or anxiety
• You drink to numb difficult feelings
• It is affecting your work, your sleep, your relationships, or your health
• You have started to hide what you drink
• You feel a sense of shame, regret, or guilt after drinking
• You have tried to cut back or stop and have not been able to
• Other people in your life have raised concerns
• You have ended up in unsafe or dangerous situations because of drinking

If any of this is familiar, that is enough reason to reach out. One thing worth noting about this list is that many people look at it and find ways to account for each point — it was a stressful period, things will settle down, it is not that bad compared to others. That kind of reasoning is very common, and often reflects how much has quietly become normal over time rather than a clear-eyed view of what is going on. If something here has caught your attention, that instinct is worth taking seriously. You do not need a diagnosis, a label, or certainty about whether you have a “real” problem to begin a conversation.

Not necessarily — and not as a condition of beginning. Many people delay reaching out assuming I will insist on abstinence. I will not.

We will look at your drinking as it actually is, what it is doing for you, and what you want to be different. For some people, total abstinence ends up being the right path. For others, a meaningful change might look like cutting down, drinking differently, or removing alcohol from certain parts of life rather than all of it. The right goal depends on you, on what is realistic, and on what is safe given the kind of drinking you are doing.

I will be honest: some patterns of drinking are difficult or unsafe to moderate, and the goal we set may need to change as we get to know your situation better. The conversation is open, not prescribed.

No. I will not judge you, lecture you, or moralise about your drinking. People come to counselling about alcohol from very different places, and I work with each person where they are — not where I think they ought to be.

Many people who reach out have not talked openly about their drinking with anyone. Admitting that something you have been managing alone has become too much to manage often carries real shame. The first conversation can feel exposing. My job is to make that honest conversation possible — without the layers of judgement that usually come with it.

You do not have to apologise for what you are bringing, or arrive with a particular moral position about your drinking. The work begins with what is real for you, and we go from there.

No. You do not need to have already stopped, or cut down, or made any changes at all. Come exactly as you are.

What I do ask is that you arrive sober for the session itself. The work depends on being present and able to think clearly — that is harder if you have been drinking. If that is an issue for a particular session, let me know in advance and we will reschedule.

The work starts where you are — not where you think you should already be.

The work has two related strands, and they tend to run alongside each other rather than in a fixed sequence.

The first is about understanding — looking at what your drinking is doing for you, what it helps you avoid, when it tends to take hold, and what it costs you. Alcohol use rarely exists in isolation. It is usually connected to other things in your life: stress, loneliness, anxiety, low mood, grief, relationship difficulty, or patterns that go back many years. In the early sessions, we spend time building a clear picture of that landscape — not to explain your drinking away, but to understand what is actually keeping it in place. That understanding is often the first real shift.

The second strand is about change — building practical ways to manage urges, interrupt patterns, and create new responses to the moments that have previously led you to drink. In practice, this means working out what your high-risk times and situations are, thinking through what actually helps in those moments (and what does not), planning how to handle occasions where alcohol has always been part of the picture, and building a realistic way of dealing with setbacks when they come. Setbacks are normal and expected — what matters is how they are used. Part of the work is learning to treat a slip as information rather than as evidence that change is not possible for you.

The pace varies. Some people find that six to ten sessions shifts things meaningfully. For others, particularly when the drinking is connected to older or more complex things in their life, the work takes longer. There is no fixed programme and no set number of sessions.

This is not a programme of willpower or punishment. It is a way of getting to know yourself better and of finding more useful ways of meeting the needs that sit underneath the drinking.

Counselling and peer recovery groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or SMART Recovery do different things, and many people find that using them together is more useful than choosing one over the other.

Counselling is one-to-one work with a trained counsellor. The conversation is private, focused on you, and tailored to what you are bringing — the patterns underneath your drinking, the relationships around it, the parts of your life it is affecting, and what change might look like for you. There is no fixed programme, and the work moves at your pace.

AA and SMART Recovery are peer-led groups. AA follows the 12-step model and often emphasises abstinence and a spiritual dimension to recovery. SMART Recovery uses a more secular, skills-based approach drawn from cognitive and behavioural ideas. Both offer something counselling cannot — the experience of being in a room with others working with the same struggle, a sense of community, and ongoing support that does not depend on the time you have with a single counsellor.

Many people find counselling works well alongside one of these groups. The two address different needs: counselling looks at what is happening underneath the drinking for you specifically; the groups provide community, shared experience, and a structure to keep showing up to. Whether to use either, both, or neither is your choice. I am happy to talk through what might be right for your situation.

This comes up more than almost anything else, and it deserves a direct answer. Many people who reach out have already tried to change their drinking on their own — sometimes many times — and they arrive feeling they have already failed.

Trying and not succeeding is not failure. It is information. Each attempt tells you something about what triggers the drinking, what helps for a while, and what breaks down. Willpower alone often fails because the drinking is meeting a real need — for relaxation, escape, connection, or relief. Until those needs are met differently, the pull to drink stays strong.

The work in counselling is different from trying to change on your own. We can look at why previous attempts have not held, what was missing, and what a more sustainable change might look like for you.

This depends on how much you are drinking, how long you have been drinking, and whether you have ever experienced withdrawal when you try to stop.

For many people, counselling is the right place to do the work of understanding, changing, and rebuilding around their drinking. For others — particularly those who drink heavily every day, who have been drinking heavily for years, or who have had physical withdrawal symptoms such as shakes, sweats, severe anxiety, or seizures when stopping — there is a serious medical dimension to changing their drinking, and this needs to be discussed with a doctor first.

I am not a medical professional, and counselling cannot replace medical care for alcohol withdrawal, which can be dangerous. If your drinking sits in heavier territory, I will encourage you to speak with your GP or a specialist alcohol service alongside the work we do, so that any change in your drinking is medically supported.

If you are not sure where your drinking sits, we can talk it through when you get in touch and think together about what kind of help is going to be most useful for your situation.

This depends on your situation, what you are hoping for, and where the people in your life are in their own response to your drinking.

Some people come to individual counselling first, and that is often the right place to start. The work of understanding your own relationship with alcohol — what it does for you, what it costs you, and what you want to be different — is often best done one-to-one, with privacy and the space to be honest.

Other times, the relationships around your drinking are part of what needs attention — particularly when alcohol has become a source of conflict, hurt, or broken trust at home. In those cases, couple or family counselling can be a useful addition to, or extension of, the individual work.

If your partner or a family member is the one reaching out — because they are living with someone else’s drinking and want their own support — they are also welcome. The impact of another person’s drinking is real, and partners and family members have their own experience that deserves space.

We can talk through what is right for your situation when you get in touch.

The first step is a free fifteen-minute phone call. You do not need a prepared account of your drinking or a clear sense of what you want. It is a chance to ask whatever you want to ask, for me to get a sense of your situation, and for you to see whether the conversation feels right. There is no commitment beyond it.

After that, if you want to go ahead, we arrange an initial session. The early sessions focus on building a fuller picture of your situation — your drinking, the context around it, and what you are hoping for. This is not an intake procedure with a fixed format; it is the beginning of the actual work.

Sessions are available online via Zoom or Microsoft Teams, or in person at my office in Hampton (TW12). I do not currently have availability at the Waterloo office.

If you want to think about it first, take your time. You can also get in touch by email if a phone call feels like too much to start with. There is no pressure — reach out when you are ready.