Couple counselling is a form of talking therapy where both partners work with a trained counsellor. It’s a confidential, neutral space to look honestly at what’s happening between you — the patterns, the stuck points, the things that keep coming up — and to find a way forward.

The sessions follow a structure that I’ve found works well for most couples:

Session 1 — together. We look at what has been happening in the relationship from both sides, and begin to understand what each of you is bringing to it.

Sessions 2 and 3 — individually. I work with each of you separately. These sessions are fully confidential — nothing from them feeds back into the joint sessions without your agreement. They are a chance to say things you might not say in front of your partner.

Session 4 onwards — together. Joint sessions that build on the understanding developed in the individual work, with both of you more aware of what has been going on.

The structure is flexible and adapts as counselling progresses. Each couple’s needs are different, and change as the work develops.

The first session is a chance for both of you to say what has been going on, and for me to begin to understand the relationship from both perspectives.

You don’t need to arrive with everything worked out or agree on what the problem is. Starting from different places is entirely normal — and often where the most useful work begins.

I will ask about your relationship, what has brought you to counselling, and what you are each hoping for. We will also talk through how the sessions work and discuss confidentiality. By the end, my aim is for you both to leave feeling a little clearer about what is possible.

It is very common for one partner to be more ready than the other. If your partner is hesitant, it can help to frame it not as going to ‘fix’ the relationship, but as a place to be properly heard — by each other, and by someone trained to help.

If your partner won’t come at all, you can still come on your own. Individual counselling can help you understand your own part in what’s happening, get clearer about what you want, and sometimes create enough shift in the dynamic that the other person becomes more open to joining later.

The first call is free, and there’s no pressure on either partner to commit beyond it.

It’s hard to say at the start. It depends on what you are bringing, how long things have been difficult, and what you are each hoping to achieve.

Some couples find that eight to twelve sessions are enough to move things substantially. Others benefit from working together over a longer period, particularly when what they are dealing with runs deep or has been present for a long time.

Rather than setting a fixed end date, I prefer to check in regularly to review how things are going and whether the sessions are helping. You are always in control of how long we work together.

Most couples start with weekly sessions, particularly at the beginning when things can feel most stuck. Meeting regularly builds momentum and gives each session something to build on. Too much time between sessions and the work can feel disjointed; too little and there is no space to process what has come up.

As the work progresses and things begin to shift, sessions often naturally move to fortnightly and eventually monthly before coming to a close. This is a way of consolidating what has changed as you continue to put things into practice.

We will always agree frequency together, and it can be adjusted as your needs change.

What is said in the joint sessions stays between us — I do not share anything outside the room.

The individual sessions are separately confidential. If you tell me something in your individual session, I will not bring it into the joint sessions without your agreement. Those sessions are designed to give each of you a space to speak freely, without worrying that what you say will be used against you.

There are a small number of exceptions — for example, if I had serious concerns about safety, or if I were required to disclose something by law. I would always try to speak with you first before taking any such step.

No. My role is to help you understand each other — not to decide who is right.

I will hear things from both of you that are understandable, and things from both of you that are hard to hear. That is normal in any relationship that has reached a difficult point. My job is not to judge either of you, but to help you see what is actually happening between you clearly enough to change it.

If one partner is hoping I will validate their position or help them win an argument, this is not the right place for that. The work depends on both of you being willing to look honestly at your own part in things.